Working Mother's Guilt

I recently stumbled upon a thesis presented by an Indian professor titled 'Are Working Mothers in India Investing Less Time in the Next Generation?'

The topic immediately touched a chord. This is a question I have been constantly asking myself for the past two years.

I have chosen to have a child and pursue a career too. Will I do justice to both? After joining work full time, I have never faltered on my professional responsibilities. I find myself giving my best shot at work, sometimes unconsciously, even trying to make up for the “lost four months” while I was on maternity leave.

But somehow I have not been able to convince myself that I am doing enough justice to my child. My son said his first words while I was at work… He took his first step while I was at work… He learned his first nursery rhyme while I was at work…Will I ever be able to forgive myself for missing out on those moments? Or will I always suffer from working mother's guilt?

7 comments:

My little hands can do said...

Stumbled on this blog while perusing your other one, very interesting. I am a working mother too( part-time) and came across an article which put forth both sides of the coin, Both working mothers and SAHM feel guilty. One group for feeling that they are missing out on these precious years and the other as they feel the kids may be missing out on interaction with other kids their age (does happen where we live) I guess feeling guilty is a part of being a new mother, as you want to do so much more than you can.

Henna Design and Inspirations said...

Aparna, I used to have that Mommy guilt when I first went back to work after having my son 18 months back. Not any more, I firmly believe that quality of time spent outweighs quantity of time spent.
I have taken some time off from work every now and then and enjoy most of my time spent with him but some days teething and tantrum devils are so omni present that I am ready to pull my hair out by the end of the day.
SAHM's (may never accept the fact) but do need breaks, do get frustrated. I read somewhere that the kids demonstrates their strongest emotions to those they love the most. He will be a well behaved boy when with nanny or granny but when he sees you he wants this, he won't eat this, he won't nap etc etc... SAHM's need a break too and are always looking for something. My break is "going to work".

Sarah said...

These are the exact same feelings I keep going through too! It finally depends on who you are - if you think going to work is important to u then you should do it as that will make you a better person and thereby a better mom !

Akshaya Borkar said...

Guilt is part of being mom... it never leaves you... Even after spending one whole year of maternity leave with my little girl, watching all her first steps in life, I still feel guilty dorpping her off to daycare everyday.. (its been 1 year since she started going to daycare...)

riya said...

Hi Aparna
I liked your blog and i am also going through the same guilt i was SHAM till my boy turens 1 and i was enjoying it a lot and i wanted to be that for more 10 years .But in my case no money no respet so my husband insisted me to take a job which i eventually get very early after 1 nad half year break BTW we live in singapore .
now this guilt is eating me i leave my son with my full time maid since we don't have any relative here .sometime i can not concentrate on work thinking about my little bundle of joy .so finally i start blogging it relives my pain a bit when i see many others in same suitation and how they cop up with that. i am planning to start my own blog soon thanks

Anonymous said...

hi there, I am from india, am undergoing this guilt from past 4 months after a gap of 4 long years i joined , my son is three and a half, but he is again and again falling sick after i joined my job, i am under heavy pressure that what should i do, after all job is not important, my first priority is my son, but cant help, i m in a delimma , and dont know how to overcome this.

Play Angry-Bird Game said...

nice blog

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