Working Indian Moms

Test of English as a Funny Language

2012-01-30T05:10:00.000-08:00

Young English learners often make amusing grammaticalerrors. And when these are shot from the mouth of a four-year-old, they sureleave you in splits. Sample some –

Kiddo: Mamma, what does the tailor do in the blouse?

Mamma: Ahem!

Kiddo: Mamma, let’s go to she’s house!!!

Mamma: Huh!! (Mamma finally cracks it – He – His; She –She’s!!!)

Kiddo: Mamma, I am vamming…

Mamma: Vamming, what is that?

Kiddo: Arrey, exercising in Marathi!!!

(He meant vyayam – meaning exercise in Marathi/Hindi)

Here’s the Case of CuriousKids

Kiddo: Mamma, do all babies come from the stomach?

Mamma: Yes, son

Kiddo: So, did I also come from the stomach?

Mamma: Yes, son

Kiddo: So, will a baby come from my stomach too?

Mamma: No darling… Babies only come from girls’ stomachs…

Kiddo: So, will babies come out from the stomach of allgirls in my class…

Mamma: Ahem, yes son one day they will…

Kiddo: Hurray! Then I will get to play with so many babiesat one time…

Kiddo: Mamma, we are herbivores or carnivores?

Mamma: We are omnivores, baccha…

Kiddo: Huh? What does that mean?

Mamma: Means, we eat both chicken and vegetables…

Kiddo: Yayyyyy… I am omnivore… I am omnivore… I am omnivore…

When He Googled 'Cars'...

2012-01-19T21:34:00.000-08:00

This is a true incident that a colleague in office narrated afew days back. Her ten-year-old son was surfing the internet for a schoolproject on her office laptop that she had taken home over the weekend.

After finishing his work, the boy who loves automobilesgoogled ‘cars’. Not satisfied with the images of the cartoon cars he got on thefirst page of search, the boy googled ‘hot cars’ thinking it would lead him tolatest, more sophisticated cars.


'Cars' throws up kiddie stuff, 'hot cars' overly mature images!!!

The term ‘hot cars’ threw up images of latest and most moderncars in the search. However, it also threw images of semi-clad women leaningsensuously on posh, foreign cars. Attracted to the images (of cars I assume),the young boy clicked on few of the images to land on their respective sites. Thesecar sites which obviously have a huge male user base use not so modestlydressed women to attract this base. One of the sites even had several pop-upsthat lead to adult, pornographic sites.

As luck may have it, my colleague entered the room at thevery time these pop-ups were causing havoc on the screen. She exclaimed andimmediately raged at her young son giving a lesson in morals not knowing thecomplete truth. The boy stunned and embarrassed immediately ran to his room.Shocked and appalled, my colleague quickly closed all the pop-ups and windowsand decided to give the lad a piece of her mind. However, before doing so shedecided to check his surfing history to know which sites he had exactlyvisited. That was when the story unfolded. The kid had googled cars, carwallpapers and car stickers. Unable to get a satisfactory image, he went on toselect ‘hot cars’ from Google Suggestions and thus eventually landed up sitesthat were not suited for his age.

Sorry for screaming at the young boy for no fault of his,she went up to him and apologized for her harsh reaction. The boy who was moreembarrassed than hurt listened as his mother spoke.

Being an evolved internet user, my colleague changed theprivacy and content settings on her office laptop and her home computer to makesure that such incidents are avoided in the future. She even read up theinternet to pick tips on cyber safety.

Here are some good resources that we shortlisted -

Family safety tips

Google's recommendations for parents on how to secure family computers.

Google Safe Search

Google's tools to keep children safe while researching online

Guide to Internet safety in India

A compilation of websites and resources for parents of Indian children.

Online safety of children

Tips to keep your child safe while online

US FBI guidelines for parents to ensure internet safety for children

FBI's advice to parents on how to secure children from online predators

As parents, we must remember that adolescents will beadolescents. Their curiosity of the world beyond their family, friends, schooland community will lead them to explore. They will sometimes stumble upon thegood and a lot of times upon bad and the worst. As parents, we must shield themfrom the worst and prepare them to face the bad.

Funny Baby Products

2012-01-17T22:51:00.000-08:00

It's a mad, mad mad world. And crazy too! While surfing the internet I came across an interesting blogpost on wacky laws for children. This lead to googling a li'l more about wacky inventions and I stumbled upon the website of the Oracle ThinkQuest Foundation.
The site lists America's Goofiest Patents and totally absurd inventions. Some of the inventions are outright funny. Some useful but a bit dangerous. Some stupid and some plain non-sense. Thank god, these are purely patents and no geniuses have yet manufactured and sold them as baby products! I picked up three of the several listed that I most liked/laughed at. Mind you, the images here are actual patent illustrations and not artists' representation! Copyright for the info and images is with T.VanCleave

Baby Patter - This is a motorized hand that pats the baby to sleep incase he/she wakes up at night disturbing the parents' sleep.

Imagine your baby wakes up at night to find a hand and not you patting him!!!

Baby Cage - An oval shaped dome that will take an adult's weight and make sure you don't accidentally sleep on your baby!!!

Caging your junior so that you don't run him over! Yucks!!!

Diaper Changer - A flat plank, a torso barrier and feet clinger to make sure your baby can't move while you change diapers.

Arrest the li'l one to make sure diaper changing is not an ordeal!

How to establish a daily routine for your kids

2011-06-23T05:21:00.000-07:00

As working parents we often struggle with trying to fit children and their needs in our hectic schedules. We want our children to wake up in time so that we are not late for work. We want them to sleep on time so that we can finish chores and spend some time with each other.
But how ready are our children to fit into our schedules? I found this video by a parenting expert on the topic. Thought you all would like it too... Video Link

Flexible schedule is key to keeping working moms on the job

2011-06-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

A large number of mothers who return to work after childbirth subsequently leave the labor force. What factors influence such decisions? It is merely lack of support or are there more factors?
A study published online in the Journal of Applied Psychology, tells more...

Bombay HC says working moms take care of their children very well

2011-06-22T00:26:00.000-07:00

In a progressive judgement that will be welcomed by working mothers caught in bitter divorce battles, the Bombay High Court has held that working women take care of their children very well and the argument that they do not get time to attend to kids cannot be a ground for "disturbing" the custody of the child.

In this particular court case, the husband had argued that his wife was employed and, therefore, could not take care of their daughter. Hence the child's custody may be given to him. However, the court held that the custody of the child could not be given to the father just because the mother had a full time job. Considering that the child was a minor, she was best in the custody of the mother.

Thank you dear court for recognizing and acknowledging the fact that working mothers are as good if not better than SAHMs. This judgement will seal the mouths of all those who argue that SAHMs make better mothers than working moms. All mothers make equal efforts to see to it that they can give their children better, happier and successful lives.Whether a mom works outside home or within its four walls, should not matter.

Mamma's Advice in Animation Video

2011-05-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

Ok! I'm back and this time after a long long break. Been busy putting things in place.

I chanced upon this free (partially, at least) animation movie maker site and think it's fabulous. You can try out your first two short length movies (1-2 min) more than enough for free, post which there is a nominal sum. I'm not publicizing the site, but hey, if it's good and fun why not try out. See what I tried here... A cute video for my son, you know the usual things on the minds of a mom.

Tiding over Tough Times

2010-06-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

The situation at home has been particularly disturbing for the last two months. I loaned my cook Rs 20,000 for her daughter’s wedding before she went on a month’s leave. It’s been over 45 days since and there seems to be no sign of her. Not even a phone call. I’m in a dilemma now – should I just look out for a cook and forgo my 20k or wait for the golden day to dawn.
My kid’s Nanny too decided to ditch me. She went on a week’s leave to attend a wedding in her hometown and found a life partner for herself there. She has decided to settle down in holy matrimony and of course not return to her workplace.
Effectively, for the last 45 days I’ve had no domestic help and no Nanny. While going to work I drop off my kid at mom’s place and pick him up while I go back. He seems pretty much ok with the routine (or so I assume) but what he really misses is the play time in the evenings. He has been spending his play time in the car stuck in the mad Mumbai traffic. This, at times, leaves him cranky and with surplus energy that he ends up utilizing while playing at home.
You don’t have to be a child care or parenting expert to understand the importance of play time. Play time gives your child lots of opportunity to exercise their bodies and channelize energies. Playing with other children helps develop social skills.
As I mom I see one more obvious benefit. The days my son plays in the open for at least an hour or more he eats better and sleeps better. Because all the activity has sapped him of energy, he is generally more forthcoming to whatever meal is served to him. Post the meal, he is eager to hop into the bed and call it a day. The days this routine is missed, he is cranky at the dinner table and refuses to sleep on time. I’m sure you agree that the li’l one is not to blame for this.
My search for a Nanny continues. Till then, beating Mumbai traffic, reaching after play time and moody dinner routines will be the order of the day.

Son has an affair? Mom is to blame!

2010-03-31T04:25:00.000-07:00

I chanced upon an article in the Times Online edition talking about a certain psychiatrist Dr Dennis Friedman’s new book An Unsolicited Gift. It said that entrusting your son in the hands of a nanny in his early years could turn him into a womanizer!
Dr Friedman says that leaving your son with a Nanny introduces him very early to the “other woman” concept. It apparently justifies to your son that there can be different women to satisfy different needs. Such a boy in his adulthood easily gets into extra-marital relationships or turns to more than one female partner.
Dr Friedman may be from the Royal College of Psychiatrists but his theory seems to be more of a work of fiction than fact. He has no sample survey, no interviews or no concrete evidence to prove his theories. His assumptions too are pretty convoluted. He says that when boys raised by Nannies grow up and have their own children and find their partners spending more time with their children, they are reminded of their own childhood. At this time, they tend to take more comfort in the “other woman.” When the Woman No 1 in their life is busy they seek the same emotional comfort that they sought in their Nanny in the “other woman.”
I seriously question Dr Friedman’s theory. If “working mother bashing” in society was not enough, here’s a psychiatrist who is blaming a man’s roving eye in adulthood to the fact that his mother left him with a Nanny!
In the West, most middle-class mothers leave their children at day care centres. Nannies are more for those who wield the power of money. In India, however, most upper middle-class working women employ the help of Nannies. Though untrained, they surely help in taking care of household chores and tending to the baby in their absence. How good, bad, trained or dumb these Nannies (domestic help) turn out to be is a matter of luck. But the fact remains that in urban India more and more toddlers and school-going children are with Nannies while their moms are away at work. With Dr Friedman’s logic, more and more men will find solace outside marriage in generations to come for I don’t see the trend of Nannies dying very soon in India.
But what Dr Friedman has not considered is that men are polygamous by nature and need only suitable opportunities to fulfill their desires. Not all get opportunities or have the guts to take up those. I am not a male-basher but whatever I have seen of men I’ve come across in my personal and professional life, my statement is at least 80-90 per cent true. My female friends will agree.
I’m sure there are bigger and better reasons why men look for partners outside marriage. Why blame it on the “poor” working mother who spent her youth juggling home, work and taking care of her young ones? Enough of “All because of you Mamma” statements!
Just one last question - what happens to baby girls left with Nannies?

Politically Incorrect

2010-01-29T01:42:00.001-08:00

A prominent politician’s photographs were on hoardings all across the city last week. The old man who was celebrating his 82nd birthday had his index finger pointing out as if saying “you there.”
Incidentally, we came across one of these hoardings a few metres away from this politician’s house in Bandra East. While passing the place, my husband casually mentioned that the person in the hoarding stayed here. To which Aashu pointed his finger like the man in the hoarding and quipped, “Uncle in the photo says, don’t park your car in front of my house. Go park in the lane opposite!”

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2010-01-10T10:02:00.000-08:00

I’d watched ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things’ and its Indian version ‘Say Na Something to Anupam Uncle’ on television, but little did I realize that I would be at its receiving end one day.

While on a recent visit to our family physician, we were sitting opposite a Nepali couple. My two-year-old looked at the man and exclaimed, “Look dad, watchman uncle is here!” My husband of course had nowhere to look.
Thanks to being a true blue Mumbaiite, Aashu has learnt two new words – shaanpatti and pagal. Though he is fast picking up language, usage is something he still has to master. One day his grandfather was down with fever. Fearing that the fever will rise, his grandmother put a wet cloth on his grandfather’s forehead (known as patti in Marathi/Hindi). To which our l’il smartie said – “Ajoba, shaanpatti kartat!”
I bought him a set of new underpants. Unlike the cartoon ones that he already has, these were simple plain much like the adult version his father has. When I first attempted to make him wear those, Aashu seemed reluctant and shot back, “These are Dad’s underpants. Don’t make me wear these!"

Banish Rote Learning

2010-01-07T01:12:00.000-08:00

Union Education Minister Kapil Sibal has promised to banish rote learning from the Indian education system. If his words are anything to go by, our schooling will encourage children to follow their heart.
Children will not have to learn pages and pages of text instead focus on a more practical approach to learning.
As a parent, I welcome the move. This decision will give our children an opportunity to mature as individuals and follow their hearts.
We’ll let our children enjoy sports and dramatics as well while teaching them life skills. We’ll teach them languages and expose them to literature not so that they write good essays in three-hour examinations but only to sow the seed for a good Indian author. We will teach them arithmetic, algebra and trigonometry so that India may lead the world in science and technology.
This system will lay emphasis on self-discipline. But will it be easy for parents to keep a check on their wards? How will they know that their wards are progressing? How will the system be able to motivate a student who is intelligent and capable but lacks self-motivation? If we relax evaluation norms to accommodate average students, will we not lower our standard of education?
Guess, time will answer all my questions?

Women in my Son’s Life

2009-11-26T00:39:00.000-08:00

Too early to be posed with this question right? Especially because my son is only two! But then I think I am already feeling the pressure.
When I brought up the topic one day, a male colleague casually commented that women are always insecure about men in their life – be it husbands or sons.
May be it is true to some extent. Or may be it’s true in my case because I am a working mother and don’t end up spending too much time with my son. I somehow get insecure when I find him attracted to the other women in his life.
Who are these other women?

His Maternal Grandmom – Since he spends most part of his day with her, it is only natural that my son thinks she is next best substitute for his mom. So much so that in lullaby and rhymes which mention the word mother, he replaces it with the word grandmother!

His Nanny – I have hired help at home to take care of my son in my absence and assist my mother/mother-in-law in looking after him. Since, the girl is my son’s always available never complaining playmate he is extremely fond of her. You offer him a chocolate and he will ask one more from you for her. The girl too lovingly does her duties towards him. There have been times when my son has woken up from his nap on weekends and called out her name inspite of me being around. Ofcourse, when he did realize that I was around, he chose me over her.

His Teacher – What luck that she shares the same first name as me! When I’m home and I ask my son about what he did at school, all that I am inundated with is his day with his teacher. Teacher this, teacher that. The lady has become of paramount importance in my son’s school life. My son only obeys her instructions. He is willing to perform all school activities only if she has asked him to do so. The same child who throws a tantrum with me is well-behaved with his teacher. These days, I often make him follow my instructions by telling him that his teacher wants him to do so.

Believe me, I am not “insecure” of other women becoming more important to my son than me. But I am prompted to think if things would have been the same had I not been a working mom. Teacher, I can understand coz that’s the next best thing to mom while in school.
I guess my son is too young right now for me to even talk about “other women”. All that the l’il one understands right now is the language of love. Whoever speaks to him in that language he reciprocates.
And then the day will come when he will have his first girlfriend. And then, few years later he will bring home his wife. And I will have a daughter-in-law! More women in his life…OMG! Am I ready?

Maid in India

2009-11-07T02:20:00.000-08:00

What does the word “maid” mean to you? Half an hour of extra sleep, freedom from the dishes or spared of mundane domestic chores?
Well to me maid is actually all of this and sometimes more. I use my domestic help at home in a smart way. I’ve planned out her responsibilities in a way such that I can spend possible maximum with my child and husband and not get bogged down by chores. Here are some tips for other working mothers that I can share with my experience:

Plan out your domestic help’s KRAs (Key Result Areas) before you employ her. Before finalizing on the right person, make sure that the person understands and has agreed to do the responsibilities.
Insist on your domestic help giving you his/her photographs and residence proof.
If she was employed earlier, at least ask for one reference. This is very important considering the safety and security of your child.
Try to employ an experienced nanny for your infant. Most novices find it difficult to handle babies. If your child is two-three and has started playing outdoors, a young girl will suit the purpose.
Try to employ help who lives in the vicinity. This will give you better flexibility to adjust time with her.
If you plan to employ a young girl, check her proof of age. Remember to always employ girls who are above 18 of years of age. Anything less than that constitutes to child labour. Reference checks are all the more important here.
If you notice that the girl you have employed is getting over-friendly with your driver, watchman or other man-servants in the house, reprimand her immediately.
Come home at unusual hours so that there are surprise checks on the maids/servants you employ.
Always be very particular about hygiene. Insist that your maid (especially if she is a nanny) have clean nails, hair, body and most importantly breath.
If she is a live-in maid, monitor the clothes she wears and ensure that her clothes too are washed clean by her.

Hiring a Housemaid in India

2009-11-06T03:51:00.000-08:00

I read a report in The Times of India dated November 6, 2009 that would send shivers down the spine of every working mother.
A particular Nanny in Bangalore was renting out a seven-month-old to a group of street beggars for a meager sum of Rs 100 per day. The child would be sedated and then taken on the mean streets of Bangalore so that it could arouse sympathy and gain more money for the beggars who hired it.
The nanny’s heinous act came to light when one day the mother came home earlier than usual and found the nanny watching TV while her baby was missing. When pressurized, the nanny confessed to renting out the baby. It was then that the mother realized why the baby had been drowsy and inactive in the evenings for the past few days! The worst of it all – this particular nanny was hired from a so-called Maid Hiring Services agency that specialized in providing skilled and “background-verified” domestic help.
Besides the nanny who fell prey to easy money, who is at fault in this situation? The agency which breached the trust of its client? Or the parents who to pursue their own career interests blindly entrusted their child? Or is it the society that encourages begging and even gives rupee or two extra on seeing a crying child?
I can imagine the manner in which orthodox women must have reacted to the incident. They must have pointed fingers at the mother for leaving her child and house in the hands of an unknown. They must have blamed the mother for prioritizing her career over her infant. They must have called the already traumatized mother careless and egoistic for not realizing her baby’s well-being.
This unfortunate incident highlights the simple mistakes we tend to make when we hire a nanny. Here are some common precautions that one should always take before hiring a nanny or any other domestic help:

Try to hire a nanny/house maid/domestic help from a certified or reputed agency. Insist the agency on providing you with photographs, address proof and references of the resource they are sending for you.
Personally cross-check the credentials of the house maid with the references provided. These references should not be relatives or friends of the maid but her past employers. Most people will gladly help. Take down their name, phone number and address carefully. If they don’t co-operate, insist the agency on providing you some other resources or more references.
Always, ALWAYS pay surprise visits when the nanny/maid/domestic help is alone at home. Open the door with a spare key to catch the person unawares. That way, you will know what the person does while you are away.
Pay surprise visits at different times of the day and on different days. Avoid disclosing details of the time you will come back home from work.
Register the details of the maid with your local police station. This way you will be better equipped to handle any adverse situations.

Why does Mommy have to go out to work?

2009-11-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

As a working mother, it is important to make your child understand early in her childhood that you step out of the house so that along with the father you can provide for the family better. It will take the child a while before she understands career aspirations, goals and several other reasons why you have to “work”.
Here are some tips that may help you:

Whenever possible, try to explain to the child that you go to work so that you can get her good clothes, toys and food. Tell your child that along with daddy, mom also works hard so that we can buy all the goodies that the family needs.
Teach your child the importance and the value of money so that she starts appreciating the fact that you earn for the family.
You can start by encouraging the child to have her own piggy bank and saving the money she gets as gifts or prizes.
Give your child examples of other working mothers and their children in your circle to make them realize that many mothers step out of home to go to work.
Never use words like – ‘If you don’t listen to me, I’ll go leave the house to go to work’ to discipline the child. If your child gets the feeling that you step out of the house only to punish her, she may actually come to hate you for leaving her alone at home.
As your child grows and has her own aspirations, she will realize why it was important for her mother to also step out so that she could fulfill her aspirations too. Over a period of time, your child will come to respect you for being a wonderful working mother.

Time Management Tips for Working Mothers

2009-11-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

“I just don’t find the time to do it!” Do you often find yourself saying this to yourself and others? Well, then join the gang of working mothers for whom time is more precious than all their jewellery and money put together.
However, some good planning can help you squeeze in at least a few hours for yourself – to relax and rejuvenate and gear up to meet all demands and expectations.

This is the key to successful time management. Try to plan in advance as much as possible. Over the weekend, think through what you would like to fix for all the meals of the week.
Keep a calendar and try to stick to it as much as possible. Pin a printout of the this weekly schedule at a place where you can easily refer to it. (Some members of your family may think you are overdoing it but believe staying organized always helps).
Don’t overdo on the “most healthy diet always” bit. Be practical and logical. For ex – it’s ok if say once in a week you have to order food from a restaurant. Believe me, your family is waiting for such a golden opportunity. It will even give you some relief from the chores.
Try to manage work in the office such that you finish about 10-15 min before closing time. This will give you enough time to leave work peacefully at the same handle any last minute exigencies at work.
If you are in a profession that means regular late evenings, try to work out a schedule with your senior that is convenient and not too stressful on you or your family. If this not a possibility at all, then try to plan your work such that at least you can give your family (especially children) more time in the mornings.

Trying to be Super Mom

2009-10-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

I am part of a Facebook group called Circle of Moms and recently found this post by a harried working mother there.
The post read - “Hi all working mums! I work at a stressful office job, M-F 7am-3pm. There's of course my very active 2.5 year old son to care for, a household to attempt to keep clean, a dog, a cat, and a common law husband to feed...etc etc etc. I try to stay organized with the meals by planning them out on Sundays, but find that if I haven't pre-planned a meal, my stress level goes thru the roof!
Lately I've been feeling like I'm never caught up on anything, and just living in a perpetual state of trying to get there. At the end of most days, I'm bagged! Just wondering if any of you are feeling the same way? Or have any advice on how to break the cycle?”
I frantically read through the responses hoping to find an answer for a situation I am grappling with myself. There were 23 responses but none gave a solution. All other moms on the forum had posted their list of woes, worries and frustrations of trying to keep up with their work, household and children.
I’m not sure if I am in a position to help out this particular forum member as I know too little about her, here’s how I think these situations can be best handled –

Plan meals in advance so that there are no last minute stressors.
Once a week, order food of the family’s choice from a restaurant or go out for a meal. This way the family can spend time together as well you are spared of fixing one meal.
Put your kitchen supplies in place to avoid frequent errands.
Keep major cleaning works only for weekends.
Try to outsource as many odd jobs as possible. Don’t waste your time in doing things that you can easily get done from your domestic help or others.
Delegate responsibilities at home in the same fashion that you do at work. Be fair and just to everyone. At the same time, see to it that each person does his/her task right.
If you live in a joint family, speak to members you are close to about your stressors and try to find a solution.
If you have domestic help at hand, plan her work responsibilities smartly. Believe me, shelling out a few extra bucks for a maid is worth it.
Try to keep disposable plates, bowls, spoons and glasses at home. Use them whenever you don’t have domestic help or have unexpected guests.
Talk to your husband if the situation is getting worse. Sure, between the two of you there will be workable solutions.
Avoid taking on household responsibilities that you cannot handle. It’s Ok to say a No than being angry and frustrated about taking something on.
Squeeze time out for yourself. Even if it is for an hour on a weekend, go to the beauty parlor or a spa for a good head and body massage. You have earned it after a difficult work week!

Most importantly, accept and realize the fact that you are only human and cannot be a Super human. You will have your own physical and emotional needs. If you completely compromise on yourself, you will never be able to justice to being a mother, a wife and a professional.

Missing out on Garden Fun

2009-10-20T04:35:00.001-07:00

My friends who are stay-at-home moms take their children to the garden almost every single day. While the children play in the sand and on the slides and swings, the mothers (most of them) catch up with their own set of “garden friends” or dotingly keep an eye on their l’il one.
However, because the ideal garden timings (4-7 pm) don’t fit in my schedule, my son misses out on this fun. I’ve often felt miserable about this especially when I know that I could be investing this time in my child than being stuck in a traffic jam while driving back from work. The guilt worsens when I see little ones happily treading back home with their mothers with balloons and sand kits in their hands.
But I do try to make up for this loss on weekends and other holidays. I try to prioritize time out with my child on these days even if it is at the cost of a few chores. Chores at home never end but the beautiful toddler years of my son’s life will soon fly.

Right Time to Start Playschool

2009-10-20T04:13:00.000-07:00

My child will start playschool next month. I’ve faced a bit of criticism from the older members of the house for enforcing school on him so early.
“He’s only two. You started school at three and half and you are doing well in life. Let the child enjoy at home. Why do you want to torture him?” my 85-year-old grandmother thundered at me.
Though I do respect and often go by elderly advice, I am not going to alter my decision this time.
Firstly, because I think my son would definitely benefit from being away from the secured and comfortable environ of his house for a few hours (actually, only two) every day.
I want him to mix and mingle with other children his age. At home, he is the center of attraction all day being complimented and applauded for every single act. His grandparents more often than not succumb to all his tantrums. Since there is no sibling around, there are not too many occasions on which he has to even share his belongings.
I guess by going to school at least a few of these things will change. He will play with toys in school that he will have to share with his classmates. He will have to stand in a queue for his turn. He will have to excel to earn appreciation that comes so easy at home.
Though I do know that the first few days will be difficult on him, I am sure that he will adjust and love the place soon. Adjusting to a new environ is difficult even at three and half. He earlier he starts liking the concept of fun and learn the more he will enjoy his school life.
Most importantly, if I go by the pace at which he is grasping language and learning about the things around him, it is quite the right time for him to start some formal and disciplined training.

Maternity Rules Working Mothers Should Know

2009-10-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

It is important for all working women to know about the Maternity Benefit Act and what it means for them. Some highlights –

You can avail of maternity benefit if you have been employed for not less than 80 days.
It is advisable to give a written notice to the employer before going on maternity leave but failure to do so does not disentitle you from receiving maternity benefits.
A woman employee cannot be dismissed while absent on maternity leave. Neither can her conditions of service be varied.

Most importantly, speak to the right person in your HR or Admin department to know about the rules and regulations in your organization.

Women Government Employees
The government of India has decided to increase maternity leave for all central government women employees. An additional two years of childcare leave has also been granted.
The new rules which came into effect on 1st September 2009, increase maternity leave from 135 days to 180 days and provide for an additional two years of paid leave for childcare purposes.
The childcare leave can be taken at any time and for any reason (exams, sickness...) during an employee's career, including immediately after maternity leave, without affecting her seniority. The childcare leave is available to women employees with children under the age of 18 and for up to two children only.

Websites for Working Indian Mothers

2009-10-16T04:52:00.000-07:00

It feels great to see the tons of resources available for mothers on the internet. I have often found myself desperately googling to find quick answers and solutions to my son’s cough, cold and most importantly erratic behavior.

In an age where connecting with friends in the real world is difficult given the constraints of time, I’ve now found a set of online friends who give relevant advice. Of course, not all of it is useful, but then at least I know that I am not the only one who wants to know if my child should be given homeopathic instead of allopathic!

While looking for topics that interest me as a mother of a toddler, I have come across several websites that are published by health care professionals. I applaud and appreciate their endeavor.

I’ll try to review in brief few of these websites for readers of this blog to refer to. Some

www.indianmoms.com
www.indiaparenting.com
www.babycenter.com

It's Diwali and Mom looks like a girl today!

2009-10-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

It's Dhanteras today. My little one helped me drape a sari. He has not seen me do that on too many occasions and was excited at the prospect of seeing his mother looking different. Very innocently he said, "Mom looks like a girl today!" He even sang in his baby tone and diction the title song of the Zee Marathi serial Kunku to describe me. The words went - Majha Kunku, Majha Kunku... - hinting at the fact that I was wearing a bindi and matching bangles. Shoooo shweet...
He has even learned to say Happy Diwali. He's slightly confused though with Happy Birthday and is using the two greetings interchangeably. I guess he will master it by the time it is Laxmi puja.

Heart to Heart

2009-10-12T03:29:00.000-07:00

I consider my friend Gandhali the strongest mom I have ever met and interacted with. One of her twins was born with a ventricular septal defect, a condition in which pure blood mixes with impure blood. Instead of letting the world around her come crashing down, Gandhali became her own pillar of strength.
The first few months after her twins were born were probably the most difficult phase in her life. When she would tell me about her daughter over the phone, I would put up a brave face but would break down soon after. I often would discuss with my husband how Gandhali managed to stay so emotionally balanced when she was in the middle of it all. He said that all her inner strength was God given and after all, she’s a mother!
Her children are now two and half and by God’s grace - hale and hearty. Though I do credit her husband and rest of the family for the excellent support, it is she who deserves the most appreciation. It was surely not easy to leave one child behind to look after another in the hospital!

Read her story here…

Working Mother's Guilt

2009-10-12T02:34:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled upon a thesis presented by an Indian professor titled 'Are Working Mothers in India Investing Less Time in the Next Generation?'

The topic immediately touched a chord. This is a question I have been constantly asking myself for the past two years.

I have chosen to have a child and pursue a career too. Will I do justice to both? After joining work full time, I have never faltered on my professional responsibilities. I find myself giving my best shot at work, sometimes unconsciously, even trying to make up for the “lost four months” while I was on maternity leave.

But somehow I have not been able to convince myself that I am doing enough justice to my child. My son said his first words while I was at work… He took his first step while I was at work… He learned his first nursery rhyme while I was at work…Will I ever be able to forgive myself for missing out on those moments? Or will I always suffer from working mother's guilt?